abuse requires power

“of all bad men, religious bad men are the worst.” —c.s. lewis

the first-century pharisees set themselves up as rulers and judges of the people in order to create a certain type of religious community, one they could control. they became “keepers of the gate,” deciding who was “in” and who was “out,” (see john 12:42-43 in the New Testament), and gained power through their complicated system of rules … power to abuse. Jesus went out of His way to break their rules publicly and to teach against them. Jesus let everyone — tax collectors, prostitutes, anyone and everyone — into His new community. and the pharisees hated Him for it.

matthew 23 tells us how Jesus was angry with the pharisees for victimizing people with their false religious authority. they gained their authority via their knowledge of the law of moses, which the common people did not have access to or strong knowledge of. (the “seat of moses” was an actual stone chair or throne on which the pharisees sat in front of the synagogue and exercised their authority and power.)

today, many church leaders set themselves up similarly as “keepers of the gate” with various criteria for acceptance or rejection based on their own interpretation and implementation of their religious rules, customs or principles. and while they don’t use big stone chairs, these leaders use leadership titles, academic degrees and church offices to lord their authority and superior knowledge over the common people. it’s the same recipe for abuse, a false basis of authority. any appeal to authority based on position, title, degree or office is false. the only authority God recognizes — and to which we should submit — is the truth.

don’t let anyone look down on you or make you feel inadequate, unworthy or not good enough — not “pastor,” not “director,” not “elder,” not “doctor,” not “senior pastor,” not “lead pastor,” not whatever the current cool title happens to be. they are no closer to God than you can be if you seek Him. no title or office or position gives anyone a closer track with God. not convinced? here’s what THE AUTHORITY, Jesus, said:

“But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have only one Master and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and He is in heaven. Nor are you to be called ‘teacher,’ for you have one Teacher, the Christ. The greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to. Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are.” — Matthew 23:8-15

WOW!

[these points and quotes are derived from the book, “healing spiritual abuse,” by ken blue. read it. it will set you free.]

hmm …

men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. — pascal

it is not who you actually are, but who people think you are, that matters. — joseph kennedy

everything they [pharisees] do is done for men to see. — Jesus Christ

there is no way to disarm any man except through guilt. if there is not enough guilt, we must create it. but save us from the man of clear conscience. — ayn rand

when a person’s sense of self-worth is blunted, he will deflect toward power to find fulfillment. that person will look to power over people to lift his own self worth. — viktor frankl

toxic faith is a destructive and dangerous relationship with a religion that allows the religion, not the relationship with God, to control a person’s life. — stephen arterburn and jack felton, “toxic faith”

submitting to a cause, just like taking drugs or alcohol, is an escape from growing up and establishing a personal identity. — ken blue, “healing spiritual abuse”

the rulers of the gentiles lord it over them. — Jesus Christ

the will to power exists within every person, but in the [true] christian it is converted into the will to serve. — donald bloesch

whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant. — Jesus Christ

bad church experience?

do you have a bad church experience in your past? read this:

“The narcissist’s followers are willing victims of spiritual and emotional abuse. Most of us want heroes. We want someone who understands and is able to cope with a world that is obviously out of control. We want a father or a big brother to lean on — someone to co-sign for our lives. If we think we have found him, we will give him incredible power and latitude. We are likely to overlook his mistakes, rationalize his inconsistencies and excuse his sins against us. We may act as if it is a privilege to be used and misused for his noble cause. We would rather be compliant victims than be on our own and part of nothing important. The sacrifice of our individuality is a small price to pay for being part of his special group.”

— from “Healing Spiritual Abuse,” by Ken Blue, page 115

WOW! this blew my mind when i read it! i learned about it from a friend who got chewed up in a “church discipline” thing. he said it set him free, and i needed to read it. he was right!

if you have experienced pain, hurt, betrayal, rejection (shall i go on?) in a church setting or context, you MUST read this book.

it will set you free! and you need to be free. you know you do.

because no matter what happened and how you were left feeling about it, it was NOT YOUR FAULT!

i repeat: NOT YOUR FAULT!

read this fantastic book right away, and gain the freedom you desperately need to move on in a healthy life … the life God has in mind for you.

are you freakin’ kiddin’ me?

i know you’re wondering what’s up with the title of this blog. well, news flash. there’s something very wrong when abuse, lies, deceit, manipulation, betrayal and all sorts of other evil stuff thrives … in the church. yeah, yeah, yeah — i know how the church is made of people, and people aren’t perfect, and all that. but the church is supposed to be a refuge, a safe place, a healing place. well, not so much in my experience and the experience of many. the stuff we do to each other is simply amazing, isn’t it? Jesus said, what you do to/for the least of these [people] you do for Me. whoa! look out! i think we missed that!

well, fret not. i’m going to hook you up with the answer: worship … the worship of God, that is, and not men to whom we’ve given authority over ourselves in spiritual matters. that’s just idol worship. anything/anyone we worship other than God is considered an idol, and God doesn’t like that too much. in fact, in the old days His response to it involved some pretty harsh stuff — fire, brimstone, maybe some pestilence. not pretty, but effective. but we still do it — worship other stuff, that is. well, not me. not any more.

i’m looking for something new, something actually new, not a formula regurgitated from the past with new terminology, but something new and real … with the focus on worshiping God, and God alone. anybody with me?